People have different kinds of relationships throughout their lives. There are relationships with family, friends, co-workers and sexual or intimate relationships. Healthy relationships can offer support and comfort and improve overall health and well-being. When you think about your relationships, think about what makes a relationship healthy, unhealthy or abusive.
Sharing Feelings
You feel safe and strong enough to tell your partner how you really feel.
Communicating
You respect and listen to each other even when you have differing opinions on a topic.
Disagreements
You can have disagreements and still talk respectfully to each other. You resolve your disagreements.
Intimacy and Sex
Both of you can be honest about your feelings about physical affection and sex. Neither of you feel pressured to do anything you do not want to do.
Trust
You trust each other. You are comfortable with your partner spending time with other people.
Time Alone
You can each spend time alone and consider this a healthy part of your relationship.
Violence
You and your partner take care to not speak harsh words or make mean comments. There is no physical violence in your relationship.
Sharing Feelings
You feel awkward telling your partner how you really feel.
Communicating
Your partner ignores you and does not respect your opinions when there is a difference of opinion.
Disagreements
Your disagreements often turn into fights.
Intimacy and Sex
You feel embarrassed to say how you feel because you think your partner may not listen or care. You “go along” with some things.
Trust
Your partner feels jealous when you talk to other people. You feel jealous when your partner talks to other people.
Time Alone
You think there may be something wrong if you want to do things without your partner. Your partner tires to keep you to them self.
Violence
There have been a few incidents of emotional abuse or controlling behaviour in your relationship. There is no pattern of abuse or violence.
Sharing Feelings
You are afraid to tell your partner how you really feel because you fear getting put down or threatened.
Communicating
Your partner treats you with disrespect and ignores or makes fun if your ideas and feelings.
Disagreements
You are afraid to disagree because you do not want to unleash your partner’s anger and violence. The disagreement is an excuse for abuse.
Intimacy and Sex
Your partner ignores your needs and wants. Your partner pushes you into situations that make you uncomfortable, frighten or degrade you.
Trust
Your partner accuses you of flirting or having an affair, and orders you not to talk to others.
Time Alone
Your partner does not allow you to spend time doing things on your own. Your partner sees this as a challenge or threat to your relationship.
Violence
There is a pattern of increasing, ongoing abuse in your relationship: emotional, physical, sexual and/or intimidation.
©2019 Government of Alberta
Make sure you are safe. If you or someone you know are in immediate danger, call 911.
Alberta Family Violence Info Line
Alberta’s One Line for Sexual Violence
Know you are not responsible for the abuse
Abuse can happen to people of all ages, abilities, cultural and spiritual backgrounds, gender identities and sexual orientations. Abuse can happen when you least expect it.
Understand that the abuse and violence will likely continue without intervention
Abuse and violence usually become more frequent and more severe over time. When you are thinking about your choices, be as realistic as you can be in determining what the risks are in your situation.
Tell someone you trust
Secrecy gives abuse more power. When you tell another person, you are using your power to improve the situation. Tell someone who will listen and offer support. Keep telling people you trust until you get the help that you need.
Find people and resources to support you
You are not alone. Others have had this experience and lived through it. Once you start looking for sources of help, you will meet people who understand your situation and can help you learn more about available resources.
Get professional help
Contact a qualified counsellor that understands abuse and violence in intimate relationships. If the first counsellor is not a good fit, try someone else. People who work in the area of family violence may be able to help you find an appropriate counsellor.
Care for yourself
Keeping yourself and others safe requires a lot of energy. Self-care is important to renew your energy and stay connected to others who may help you when you need them.
Spend time with supportive people
Being with supportive people and fostering healthy relationships will be a rewarding experience and will give you a support network in times of need.
©2019 Government of Alberta
Ready or Not contains a lot of information. So we created My To-Do List for you to use as a personal reminder, share with your partner, or bring to your next check-up.
Be sure to click “Add this to my To-Do List” anytime you see something you want to print, email, save, or share. Because we do not ask for any personal information, your list will only be saved for a week after your last added item.
